This is in response to a letter by Clay Brown … in which he compares homosexuality to alcoholism,  “as both may have a genetic predisposition,” and suggests that just as alcoholics must struggle to overcome their addiction, so should gays and lesbians.

The self-destructive behavior of alcoholics often affects the rest of society as well. What is so destructive, to themselves or others, in a same sex couple living together in a loving, committed relationship like marriage?

            Although it is easier to hide sexual behavior than skin color, the struggle for lesbians and gays is similar to that of African Americans, a struggle against rejection and discrimination, a struggle to be accepted as a normal part of society.

            There is destructive sexual behavior with which gays and lesbians are often stereotyped; promiscuity, and many other forms of abuse, but this behavior is just as prevalent within the heterosexual population. Instead of encouraging positive, committed relationships between all couples, obstacles are put in the way of lesbians and gays through laws that discriminate and by denying them the same privileges as couples who are straight.

            I feel the word marriage is a stumbling block because of its religious connotations. The state should offer civil unions only, to all couples who want to live in a legally-committed relationship. This could then be celebrated as they choose. Various religious bodies could decide if they would bless such a union.

            The Bible contains eternal truths. First among them is Jesus’ command to love God and our neighbors as ourselves. As the human family grows through history and conditions change, older laws and practices change as well (especially those that exclude others) as laws are created to benefit humankind, not enslave us.

            Jesus was accused of breaking the law when he healed and allowed his disciples to pick grain on the Sabbath. A major controversy in the early church was over the need for Gentiles to obey Jewish rituals and dietary laws in order to become Christian. Reading the Bible through the eyes of Jesus in today’s world has changed our views on slavery (and its residue of racial injustice), religious discrimination, divorce, the family in an industrial society, the role of women in and outside the home, and in the church. Why is it so difficult for some Christians to take the same leap with homosexuality in an age when we are aware that the gift of love and sexual intimacy is more than a means of procreation, especially in a world where someday population may outstrip resources?

            My son is gay. He and his partner have been together for almost 30 years. I have gained another wonderful son and many happy memories; memories of two five-foot moms trying to keep up with our long-legged sons when they took us out on the town; memories of two families, parents, brothers, sisters, in-laws, niece, nephews, and sometimes aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends getting together for holidays and special celebrations to support one another in times of trouble, sickness, and death. It makes me sad that an understanding of Scripture prevents some, especially parents and the church, from embracing a child of God, just as God created him/her, and denying themselves the opportunity to experience such pleasure and love.

Jean M. Dix

Dalton, Mass.